The Only Dodger Lineup You’ll Ever Need

It’s weird to think that there’s real Dodger baseball that counts tonight. In my head, I know it does. I know the Dodgers will either be 1-0 or 0-1 after Clayton Kershaw faces Wade Miley, but it still doesn’t seem real. Maybe it’s because the game is being played in the middle of the night — about 45 minutes later than you think it will be, by the way —  or that most Dodger fans won’t be able to watch it even if they wanted to stay up, or that every other team is still sending out the usual collection of backups and minor leaguers into spring games in Florida and Arizona.

Anyway, those are just some thoughts. Chad will be by later with an actual game thread for those of you brave (?) enough to stay up and watch the game, thus reminding me for the 40th time how great it is to have someone based in Hawaii on staff. The point of this post isn’t really to wax about the opening, as it is, of the Dodger season.

It’s to share this GIF of tonight’s starting lineup, from our friend “akaTheConman,” which I believe is his real name. After watching this one billion times, I think my favorite part keeps changing. At first, it was “KERSHAW REMOVES HIS SUNGLASSES TO SHOW ANOTHER PAIR OF SUNGLASSES!”, but that quickly changed into Juan Uribe doing some sort of dance, then A.J. Ellis from what I believe to be Zoolander. Now? Now it’s Steamboat Adrian Gonzalez. Now and forever.

Bless you, Conman. You’re doing the lord’s work.