haren_sad_2014-08-02

Cubs 8, Dodgers 2: Arguably the Weirdest Game Ever

So, here’s the thing about tonight. This game was so dumb. I mean, everything about it was the worst. I could probably just say “nope!” and be done with it, or spend a lot of words to say how awful Dan Haren was, but you know what, enough silly things happened that it’s more fun to rip off Chad and just show you. I mean, I’m not even mad; this team just won six games in a row. Things like this happen. Sometimes.

And that’s what I did. Except… I said that in like, the sixth inning. And then about five more stupid things happened, so in recognition of not having a post with 20 GIFs, I had to pick and choose. So the play where Carl Crawford swiped a ball from Yasiel Puig, and Justin Turner‘s great defensive stop, and Haren’s run-scoring wild pitch, and the play where Turner suddenly forgot to apply the tag to a runner on third, and the guy licking his girlfriend’s face as SNLA went to break, well, I wanted to show them, but I had to get choosy. And even without all that, I still probably have too much here. If there’s so much that it actually just crashes your browser? Well, consider yourself lucky.

In the first inning, Adrian Gonzalez tried to score. He did not, because that would have required touching the plate… and sliding like a human:

Gonzalez ended up leaving with a sore right knee because of this. He was one of the lucky ones.

As if Haren’s night wasn’t terrible enough on the mound, he had to go out in the third inning and get himself thrown out 9-3 from right, field, and not by a little, either:

You may remember Gerardo Parra getting him earlier this year. As best I can tell, Haren is the only man to be nailed on a 9-3 twice in a single season in at least 30 years.

Yasiel Puig, exhibiting how we all feel:

Despite Haren, the game was still tied in the top of the third when Matt Kemp tried to nail Starlin Castro at third, but Justin Turner couldn’t collect the short-hop throw, allowing two runs to score, and a third when Haren immediately threw a wild pitch after:

Haren somehow made it into the fifth, and proceeded to load the bases with one out before he was yanked for Chris Perez. Bet you can guess how well that ended; Perez immediately gave up a single to Welington Castillo.

Perez then got Nate Schierholtz to fly out to center, but when Puig threw a strike to A.J. Ellis

Whoooops.

And then….

Whooooopppps.

ATTENTION: YOU ARE ABOUT TO REACH MAXIMUM PUIG.

I don’t even know what that was, but it was awesome, and it was ruled a run… and Puig immediately left afterwards with hamstring soreness, which led to the weirdest sight of all:

Andre Ethier, with a glove! What sorcery is this?

Then Paul Maholm came in, and… oh… oh, no:

Nice play, Scott Van Slyke, anyway. Yes, that’s three Dodgers who left due to injury in a single game, so look forward to a right fun short bench tomorrow, shall we?

To top things off, in the bottom of the seventh, the SNLA feed had technical difficulties, meaning many of us were left with only this view for a good 10 minutes:

Which was probably the best view of all. And through everything, the Dodgers got more or less shut down by Kyle Hendricks, as we figured they would.

* * *

So, what’s the upshot here? Despite how ugly this all was, it’s just a single loss, not one I’m going to lose any sleep over. But somehow, I doubt Haren is going to rest that easily, not after yet another atrocious start. It’s easy to say that you want him out of the rotation, and I don’t disagree; it’s just easier said than done. Matt Magill is a reliever now. Stephen Fife isn’t healthy. Red Patterson and Zach Lee aren’t really appealing. I’m starting to soften on the idea of using one of that pair in place of Haren, though I don’t know that doing so against the Angels next week is the right time. Either way, a change is coming, soon. It has to. I just don’t know what it is.


About

Mike wrote daily for over six long years (2007-13) about the Dodgers at Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Illness, which was named 2011′s “Best Sports Blog” by LA Weekly. He can currently be found writing multiple times per week at FanGraphs and ESPN, has been a producer and editor for Sports on Earth, and built The Hardball Times. He lives in New York City and will probably be asleep or on vacation when awesome things happen.


154 comments
BrianChristoffersen
BrianChristoffersen

If the A's and Tigers and others have games like this then I'll be ok, so have they had games like this?

tsneddy (I hate the red turds)
tsneddy (I hate the red turds)

Well I woke up from a horrible nightmare which is known in my household as a dan haren start. If Dunno starts him in Anaheim, he won't make it out the second inning. I feel Dan at this point. Whatever he has done in baseball, he has done it.

davstein48
davstein48

My wife says that I panic to soon. Well if Becket has another crappy start I will be panicked

Dodger in Florida
Dodger in Florida

In no particular order of importance:

(1) DD has the best game recaps anywhere

(2) the Dodgers need more practice in the sliding pit!

(3) Dan Haren has fallen and can't get up

(4) Though challenges just try to get it right too many seem annoying.

(5) Losing is bad: losing ugly is comical

(6) Methinks we got some pitching problems

(5)

Omer (beercoozie)
Omer (beercoozie)

Good morning.


My days was quite a motherfucker yesterday.


But I think someone her might appreciate that I listened to 311, while I think that may have contributed to my problems.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kawylNdxPAg


I would also like to say that 311's videos suuuuuuuuuuucked.

Bay_of_Puigs
Bay_of_Puigs

With Maholm possibly getting hurt, I wonder if the team is considering using Jamey Wright as a starter. 

scottyc35
scottyc35

technically, Puig probably still has options. It is time for management to go with the "Win NOW" if that really is the case, then we need to 
a), call up Guerrero to be our utility guy off the bench. I like Rojas, he's done well for us, but ....

b) call up Joc and start him every day. Kemp is happy in right, Puig moves to left. If Crawford bitches, tough shit. Someone would have to go for this to happen. and that's a problem. 


Matt Kemp's #3 Fan
Matt Kemp's #3 Fan

Welp, really glad I watched Guardians of the Galaxy instead of this game.

Jman449
Jman449

For one game, a whole lot of issues. What in the world do they do for Wednesday? They can't throw Haren in an AL park.

Saber Nightmare
Saber Nightmare

We can not call up Lee because it would mean no way to trade him except if he miraculously cleared waivers.

KMT59
KMT59

Night All...Hopefully it's a much better day for Dodger Baseball tomorrow

nsxtasy
nsxtasy

@BrianChristoffersen So far this year, the Tigers have lost ten games by six runs or more, and the A's have lost six games by six runs or more.

Hoze
Hoze

@davstein48 its ok. All the bad happened in one game, so its only one in the standings :) 

Hormone Mike
Hormone Mike

@Bay_of_Puigs I wouldn't put any kind of stupid stuff past Colletti at this point, the way he's mismanaged the 25-man roster, pitchers in particular, this season...  We've all known for 2 or 3 months that Haren, Maholm, and Perez should no longer have any role with this team. They've each been a positive impediment to playoff aspirations.  Worse than unhelpful.

scottyc35
scottyc35

Ethier to the DL with an "injury"

TheConman
TheConman

@Saber Nightmare A. Im not sure that is a good reason not to do something if you think it will help the team

B. Wouldnt this be solvable by just saying that he's a "player to be named later"? In the LA boston waiver blockbuster, Jerry Sands and Rubby de la Rosa we're technically "PTBNL"s but it was agreed upon before hand that those were the players it would be

scottyc35
scottyc35

@Hoze "Brock Peterson"??? what is that? is that a real player, or something? 

Hoze
Hoze

@PagansOedipalComplex unforeseen.. but not a surprising to be in a situation where SP was going to be an issue, but suprising that it was so soon after the deadline

Hoze
Hoze

@PagansOedipalComplex @Hoze the fate of Haren depends on Colon... and that of Perez (fingers crossed) dependent on how stubborn Papelbon and Amaro will remain..

Hormone Mike
Hormone Mike

@Mike Petriello @Hormone Mike @Bay_of_Puigs hey wise guy I'm just saying that you seem not to have noticed I said 2 or 3 months, and I included 3 players in my rant.  If you thought I was trying to write an exceedingly precise rant, you were mistaken.  My point stands, and I don't think you disagree, that Colletti has been a whiz with the pitching staff since early in the season.

fallenduck
fallenduck

Kinda early for roof rage Hormone