Attention, Japan: Yasiel Puig Is Coming For You

In news that isn’t “oh god oh god oh god please let Zack Greinke‘s elbow be okay,” there’s this:

Los Angeles Angels slugger Albert Pujols was among four players named Wednesday who will be participating in the 2014 Japan All-Star Series in November.

Seattle Mariners infielder Robinson Cano, Baltimore Orioles outfielder Adam Jones and rising Los Angeles Dodgers star Yasiel Puig will also make the trip to face the Samurai Japan in the five-game series to be played at three stadiums.

We should probably note that it’s less “was announced,” because MLB has said nothing about this, and more “was reported by The Yomiuri Shimbun,” so do with that what you will. (If you believe Wikipedia — and why wouldn’t you! — the paper has the largest circulation in the world.)

The Japan Series was played every other year between 1986-2006, but hasn’t been played in eight years. After two exhibition games on Nov. 10 and 11, there will be a best-of-five series to be played between Nov. 12 and 20.

You know what this means, right? INTERNATIONAL PUIG.  Can the planet even handle this? But remember one extremely important thing, as reported by Deadspin last year:

The home run bat flip is apparently an art in Japan, ranging from Random Japanese Guy No. 3’s skyward hurl, to Random Japanese Guy No. 17’s end-over-end forehand, to Random Japanese Guy No. 35’s delicate drop.

It’s interesting that this is acceptable in Japan, where scores of Western movies have taught me that they’re big on honor and subtlety. In MLB, these bat flips would be considered showing up the pitcher and would lead to brushbacks the next time up.

They love bat flips in Japan. Uh-oh: Puig might never want to come back.