Rockies 1, Dodgers 0: The Lineup Absolutely Embarrasses Themselves

The Dodgers lost the Rockies 1-0 tonight despite the best efforts of Kenta Maeda and the bullpen because the Dodgers hitters are an absolute joke with zero idea how to hit a baseball.

Should we eliminate a pitch or a part of the plate? Should we let balls that never started in the zone go so we can take a walk? Should we ever have anything resembling an approach at the plate?

The answer to all those questions from Dodgers hitters has been a resounding no.


Corey Seager needed a day off, which is understandable, but my god do other hitters besides him and Trayce Thompson need to step it up.

The Dodgers were quiet for the first four innings, because they are hitting absolutely terrible, but in the fifth they finally managed to get something going. With one down, A.J. Ellis singled to left and Austin Barnes walked to put two on for Maeda. Maeda, of course, was bunting, and he laid down a textbook one to third baseman Nolan Arenado. What happened next was not something you typically see in the majors, as Maeda reached on … whatever this was between DJ LeMahieu and Daniel Descalso.

Then the Dodgers decided to turn in one of the worst sequences of situational hitting you’ll ever see. Enrique Hernandez ended up striking out after working a 2-2 count that was only 2-2 because he chased at least two balls out the strike zone. The bases are loaded, the pitcher has to come to you, and the Dodgers are out here fishing like they’re desperately chasing a homer or something.

Anyway, next up was Justin Turner, who did the smart thing by working a 2-0 count, but did the dumb thing by not taking my advice.

Because he proceeded to then miss a fastball that was a middle-middle mistake at 90 mph, another fastball that was more in at 91 mph, and eventually proceeded to chase ball four to ground out and end the threat.

The offense was embarrassing today, just an absolute fucking embarrassment, as they have been all series. They totaled just four hits, all singles, two walks, and a hit by pitch. That makes 10 hits for the whole goddamn series.


Anyway, the Dodgers then were fortunate that the game was even close, as Kenta turned in arguably his best start of the season. Maeda set a season-high in strikeouts with nine over 6 2/3 innings and 97 pitches. Maeda walked only one and allowed just five hits, but unfortunately two of those hits came in the top of the seventh inning to score a run. Adam Liberatore then came in to relieve Maeda even though there was no actual threat and he got his one man to end the inning.

Casey Fien then came in to get the eighth and worked around a lead-off single to turn in another scoreless inning. Don’t want to overreact, but Fien now has 5 2/3 scoreless innings as a Dodger and nine strikeouts to no walks.

Pedro Baez also got a clean inning in the ninth, which would seem like he’s turning the corner, but I’m too smart to be fall for that gambit again.

Does it matter? No, cause they can’t score a fucking run.


With the loss, the Dodgers fall to 32-29 overall and 17-14 at home, ending a nice little run of competence with this absolute shit-burger of a series.

The Dodgers have a day off tomorrow, but then head to San Francisco to play the Giants. The first game of the series is the marquee matchup with Clayton Kershaw going up against Johnny Cueto at 4:15 PM HST/7:15 PM PST/10:15 PM EST.

About Chad Moriyama

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"A highly rational Internet troll." - Los Angeles Times