The 2023 playoffs introduced themselves to Dodgers fans tonight, providing a reminder that it’s not about fun or excitement or immaculate vibes, but mostly consists of dread and then misery. A franchise and baseball all-time great delivered one of the worst playoff starts in history, the Diamondbacks then piled on a bit, and the offense didn’t show up again to complete the trifecta in a 11-2 loss.
I mean, I guess it’s only one game, right? Right.
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Despite being 35 with a shoulder barely hanging on and velocity down a few ticks, Clayton Kershaw went out there tonight because that’s what he does. Maybe he shouldn’t have.
Kershaw was greeted with a Ketel Marte “double” on a James Outman misplay in center, a Corbin Carroll single to score Marte, a Tommy Pham lined single to put a pair on, a Christian Walker double to the wall to score Carroll, and a Gabriel Moreno three-run homer to make it 5-0.
Four pitches in and the @Dbacks already have a lead courtesy of Corbin Carroll. ⚡️ pic.twitter.com/sePVDAtggR
— MLB (@MLB) October 8, 2023
Five @Dbacks have come to the plate tonight.
— MLB (@MLB) October 8, 2023
Five @Dbacks have scored. ? pic.twitter.com/0mCmRRdXtO
Surely after that Kershaw would settle in, though … right? He did get his first out of the game on a groundout, but then walked Alek Thomas and gave up a double to Evan Longoria to score Thomas and make it 6-0.
Evan Longoria celebrates his 38th birthday in style. ?
— MLB (@MLB) October 8, 2023
His RBI double makes it 6-0 @Dbacks in the 1st inning! #Postseason pic.twitter.com/DiEaIKGzdk
That was it for Kershaw, who was just woeful.
Update: No reliever has ever done this either. https://t.co/qVeASPD5dM
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) October 8, 2023
Emmet Sheehan then found himself basically getting a start, entering with one out in the 1st and at least managing to keep it at six runs with a strikeout and a groundout.
Unfortunately, the 2nd didn’t go nearly as well for Sheehan. Carroll led things off with a homer to make it 7-0.
No. 7 makes it 7 runs for the @Dbacks in just the 2nd inning! ? #Postseason pic.twitter.com/9HCWriIxTZ
— MLB (@MLB) October 8, 2023
A single from Pham followed, Walker got hit by a pitch to put a pair on, and after Jason Heyward made a sliding catch in foul territory for an actual out, Lourdes Gurriel Jr. doubled home Pham. After a walk to Thomas loaded the bases, a sacrifice fly from Longoria made it 9-0 before Sheehan was able to notch a strikeout to end the rally.
Sheehan did manage to keep the D-backs from adding on even more, as he worked around a two-out single and walk in the 3rd, then managed to get a miracle 1-2-3 frame in the 4th that ended his night.
Next up was Shelby Miller, who actually faired quite well, first putting up a two-strikeout, 11-pitch, clean frame in the 5th, and following that up by notching another K in a scoreless 6th, where he allowed just an infield single.
The scoring continued after that, however, as Michael Grove got the 7th but gave up a solo shot to Thomas to make it 10-0.
Alek Thomas wants double digits! ? #Postseason pic.twitter.com/1uTabON6Ev
— MLB (@MLB) October 8, 2023
Oh right, the other side of the game.
0, that’s the amount of times Merrill Kelly has beaten the Dodgers in his 16 career starts while posting a 5.49 ERA. Well, getting a huge cushion was certainly a great way of breaking the streak
So was his performance, as he wiggled out of early trouble. A two-out Will Smith single in the 1st, a two-out David Peralta double in the 2nd, and a lead-off Miguel Rojas infield single and a one-out Freddie Freeman walk in the 3rd were all stranded by him.
Merrill Kelly, 96mph Paint. ?️? pic.twitter.com/e0Gsc7eqID
— Rob Friedman (@PitchingNinja) October 8, 2023
Kelly then retired 11 batters in a row into the 7th, where he issued a lead-off walk and retired one batter before being removed from a stellar start.
No matter, as Joe Mantiply got the last two outs of the 7th and things were moving along.
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Alex Vesia was next in the 8th, and he also gave up a solo shot, this one Pham wrapped around the fair pole that made it 11-0.
Tommy Pham’s fourth hit of the night leaves the yard!
— MLB (@MLB) October 8, 2023
The @Dbacks lead 11-0. ? #Postseason pic.twitter.com/M04huZ2yTq
On the other side, the Dodgers finally broke through against Miguel Castro. He got an out to start the 8th, but then issued back-to-back walks to Mookie Betts and Freeman for the first Dodgers rally since the 3rd. Smith then stepped up and made it their first two runs of the game with a triple down the line in right to cut the lead to 11-2. However, that was all they would get.
The 9th was given to Caleb Ferguson in order to get practice, I guess. He got three groundouts to keep the game moving along.
For the D-backs, it was Luis Frias to close the win out, which he did without issue.
lol
Fucking pathetic.
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Well, better win the next one, huh?
Due to scheduling fuckery (MLB not wanting to go head-to-head against the NFL), the two teams will have a day off tomorrow before resuming the series on Monday at 3:07 PM HT/6:07 PM PT/9:07 PM ET. The game will be on TBS and will feature rookie Bobby Miller making his playoff debut against D-backs ace Zac Gallen.