Dodgers 5, Phillies 0: Kershaw Throws Shutout Despite Not Being An All-Star

Clayton Kershaw regained #TheWillToWin today, which propelled the Dodgers to a 5-0 win over the Phillies. Kershaw’s glorious complete game shutout included 13 strikeouts, and he scattered eight hits across 123 pitches, 92 of those pitches going for strikes.

How do you know he had it working? You know he had it working when a 2-2 curve buckles a hitter’s knees so bad, the only reaction he has is to pretend it was a 3-2 count and that he was gonna throw his bat away for a walk.

The offense? Well it was great! Five runs! That’s like as much as his last 500 starts combined!

But actually, the top of the order went 1-for-15, and basically nobody expected the leaders would be A.J. Ellis and Jimmy Rollins, with the duo combining for five hits, including a double, two homers, and all five of the runs driven in.

Jimmy, thoughts?

Yeah, this happened in real life. Everybody else was shocked too.


About Chad Moriyama

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"A highly rational Internet troll." - Los Angeles Times