Dodgers 5, Astros 2: Cheaters McCheatersons lose

The whole of 2020 is a bit muted due to not having fans in attendance, but never has that been felt more than in the first DodgersAstros series of the season.

A rematch of the 2017 World Series, in which the Dodgers lost to a bunch of cheating fucks in seven games, started today and would’ve been even more rowdy than it was if fans were around, but the Dodgers will have to settle for a 5-2 victory to start the series.


Carlos Correa started the scoring in the 2nd, with Walker Buehler hanging a slider that subsequently got yanked into the Crawford Boxes in left for a 1-0 lead. Though arguably it should’ve never got to that point.

That was the only hit Buehler surrendered through 3.1 innings, but he then surrendered a single, a walk on four pitches, and another single to drive in a second run and end his day in the 4th. Buehler lasted just 56 pitches and 3.2 innings, giving up two runs on three hits and a walk with three strikeouts. I guess Dave Roberts was serious about Buehler still being ramped up.

Adam Kolarek relieved him and did his job … sorta.

Offensively, there wasn’t a lot going on early. The Dodgers were doing their part by hitting the ball hard, it just wasn’t turning into results.

Things started to change in the 5th, as Corey Seager singled on a line to start, then AJ Pollock and Enrique Hernandez both got BABIP hits on ground balls through the infield to load the bases with nobody out. Will Smith then immediately got things back to normal by lining out to right, which was the end of Framber Valdez‘s day.

Enoli Paredes relieved him and thankfully immediately delivered a four-pitch walk to Mookie Betts to get the Dodgers on the board at 2-1. Max Muncy then grounded to Alex Bregman, who couldn’t get Pollock at home. Justin Turner and Cody Bellinger then came through with back-to-back singles to put the Dodgers up 4-2. With the bases loaded still loaded, Chris Taylor drew a walk and plated the fifth run of the inning.

Brusdar Graterol entered in the 5th and got a 1-2-3 inning with two strikeouts. He looks …. well, good.


As far as the expected tensions there wasn’t much early. Walker Buehler had a few choice words for Bregman but that was it.

Until the 6th that is, when Joe Kelly pitched.


Kelly actually walked two batters in the inning, but at least didn’t give up any runs.


The offense didn’t do much else, but the pen continued to put up zeros, with Caleb Ferguson striking out the side in the 7th and Blake Treinen getting a scoreless frame in the 8th. That set things up for Kenley Jansen, who gave up a double but didn’t get in any further trouble to wrap up the victory.


As a bonus, here’s Orel Hershiser discussing, uh, strategy.

About Chad Moriyama

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"A highly rational Internet troll." - Los Angeles Times