Dodgers 8, Rockies 2: So Long, Colorado

We’re going to lightning-round this one out, because the Rockies are terrible and no one paid attention to this game past the sixth inning and oh my god it still took four hours and there’s another post coming.

• The featured image to this post is Adrian Gonzalez sliding safely into home, which was funny because the bases were loaded and catcher Wilin Rosario decided he didn’t want to simply make it a force play, for some reason.
• Josh Beckett threw five shutout innings — ERA, I know, but 2.26! — but was lifted after only 82 pitches and five innings. With what we’ve heard about his “general soreness” and the All-Star break looming, I wouldn’t be at all shocked if there’s a phantom DL stint coming so he can rest up for the second half.
• Carlos Triunfel has no place on a big league roster, for like a dozen different reasons.
• Triunfel was only in because Miguel Rojas left after being hit by a pitch — with the bases loaded! — in the right forearm.
• Matt Kemp, Yasiel Puig, and Gonzalez all had run-scoring hits.
• Lest you ever try to use caught stealing numbers to evaluate catchers, look no further than Nolan Arenado taking second base off Chris Perez basically before Drew Butera even caught the ball.
• Perez, by the way, allowed only a single unearned run in 1.2 innings, but man did he not look good doing it. Why is he still here again?
• “Yohan Flande,” “Brooks Brown,” and “Tommy Kahnle” are not only all real names, they each pitched for the Rockies today. This team.

The Dodgers don’t return to Colorado until September 15. I’m pretty okay with that.